“Dear Eloise, as the only junior and female member of the Ocean Kayak Fishing team would you like to take your Tetra Ten and represent us on the water at the OK Classic please?”
“YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!”
“Alright Andy, would you mind babysitting my daughter on the water please?”
“Yeah of course I will. It would make a good feature too, would she be ok with that?”
“YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!”
“Dear Fladen, I was about to buy another Ice Pike rod for my daughter but I’m too tight, I was wondering…”
“YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH! But have better rods and a whole load of other stuff!”
“Dear Canoe Shops Group, daddy’s nicked the Fladen Maxximus IM7 boat rod I was sent because it’s bloody brilliant and therefore too long for me, have you got an Ice Pike spare please?”
“YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!”
“Dear H20 Kayaks, would you mind helping my daughter’s pocket money stretch a bit further on a pair of RAP119’s please?”
“YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!”
“Dear Mrs Headmistress, my daughter wants to go fishing which is better than school, will you please authorise the absence?”
“YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!”
That’s how everything got set in place for us to have the best weekend I can remember. Snapper and Whippersnapper were off to Swanage for the OK Classic, me working and Eloise trying to win! With hell and all tackle falling out of the boxes that arrived I set to work tying rigs, loading reels, attaching stickers, tournament rigging her kayak and preparing baits in advance…while she, in turn, practiced sticking hooks through pieces of slimy squid, herring, worm …
…and unhooking dead herring in various states of filleting over the sink between what on-water sessions we could manage between weather windows and work. Not quite fully up to speed but well on the way I figured that Eloise was in with as much chance as anyone else of walking away with first prize…now it was down to Neptune, Triton, Poseidon and a bit of luck but hey, we were going on holiday!
All the while this was going on I was working away in the warehouse or on the road, doing some other work some evenings as and when, a whole-weekend show and trying to fit in my normal life but still I found time to process the entrance forms and plan the competition, gee people up and get on the forums…time was getting short and the list was getting long. A few months back we were worried that we’d struggle on numbers with things how they are but no, from Cornwall, Wales, Scotland, the Northeast, East Anglia, London, Kent and the southcoast not to mention the Fens and Midlands people sent in their payments and got ready to come down for combined meet, fish and competition. So thank you, ALL of you. The numbers were creeping up...we wanted to give the RNLI a grand, we wanted to reach the ton… not so many days left and we hit it…Andy throws in another kayak as a thank you and STILL they keep coming…I call up the mates I know who are parents, we would love to see some other youngsters on the water, they have the exemption on the week-prior registration and then comes the bank holiday, delivery trips and so on…deadline is extended until the day I leave for Swanage and I depart, speak to the parents, take the details in and we have hit an Astonishing 140 entrants at a tenner apiece. FOURTEEN HUNDRED QUID FOR THE RNLI!!!
We’re stoked, but we’re questioning ourselves, can we deal with this number, getting on to double last year…right, a second safety boat is called on; John who used to run Crazywater is joining Paul’s lads from Studland Watersports. That’s easy. We’re going to have to rejig the way we process people in the morning too; ten clipboards and alphabetising the names should do it. Order more T-Shirts! Empty the shelves for prizes! Think of more random or stupid or plain insulting reasons to throw stock into the crowd! More coffee!
Hang about. Whippersnapper is nine and back at school Monday morning. I’m not going in any hotel, I want to be at the campsite…with two days to go Andy comes up with the answer and I book a cabin at Herston Leisure; I can still be with everyone but sleep will be possible this year and I have an excuse not to crawl around in my underpants in the nighttime and groan in the daytime. Sorted. Bait, mackerel? What? None swimming around the UK at present? Rigs go south to Teignmouth to have peeler attached, herring are sliced up, salted or as is, unwashed squid is sliced thin into rings, deheaded and frozen in all the juice, the last of my frozen blacks are set aside, maggots, must get maggots (forgot them) razor fish, they might be good (forgot them) ragworm, must get some from Dave at Swanage Tackle…let’s look at the chart and see where to send Whippersnapper…oh, hang on, I need to change these and get people away from the pier…remark them, re-copy them…ah, that reminds me, print those tournament cards off, designed with devilry in mind with a nice blue skate on them just for Maghouse…laminator is on, where are the a4 sleeves? Ok, I’ll do it a3…half go awry and the rest end up on the floor. The guillotine works overtime and it’s 1789 again.
Time to load the van, what’s missing from the demo boats? Wrappers off new stock, on they go, prize boats next, mine and Eloise’s on top ready for a practice run, boxes, papers, prizes, kit, cable ties and finally the gazebo…Andy, I’m off, Eloise leaves school in half an hour, see you tomorrow…
“Hi Daddy I’m SOOOO excited!”
“Here, eat cake”
Bastard. A47 A11 A14 A505 and FINALLY on the A1(M) we start to build up speed; Fleet Services are my favourite but we cut in and hit the KFC at South Mimms – second favourite services. We’ve got to get protein down our necks to absorb the sweets and oatmeal bars from Tesco.
Bladders emptied and refilled and the stereo is cranked up, Transvision Vamp blasts out as we dance the 3.5 tonne Merc down to a Premier Inn outside Southampton, laughing and changing words around…’I want you wra-asse, I want your ba-a-ass’ . We check in, it’s 930pm and she’s been up later than usual; TV for five minutes to see how cool hotels are…
… then we crash out and set the alarms for a full English, yoghurt and fruit and muesli and coffee and juice and croissants…
…and jump in the van again; quick detour to drop off a Scupper and then it’s a straight run down to Swanage. Man, this weather is PERFECT!
We head to the campsite first; the cabins a few hours from being available but people are around and we go say hi after chatting at reception and checking all is ok…Jamie is persuaded to partake in the comp with one of our kayaks, buoyancy aids and paddles they just need a wetsuit…then down into Swanage. Park the van…down the hill…go visit the tackle shop; they’re happy and looking forward to it. A steady stream of orders, questions, last minute purchases; we head to the Tourist Office next and then it’s off to enjoy cod and chips. The fish was nice, in an undersize kind of way, the chips underdone and the batter utter crap but hey, it’s all a part of it. Ice Cream? Yes please! Off we go to stamp on the green to make sure it’s firm – not that we can do anything if it isn’t – and then over to the RNLI station. Dave is there, a good chat, all looks good, he gives us some freebies to dole out to the entrants and Eloise buys another notepad and pen and starts her Swanage diary. Then we’re away back the campsite, unload all our gear into the cabin and get kitted up; fishing time.
We park again, check with the man in the high vis where we can go so as to not get booked and start taking the yaks and kit out. We trolley them halfway down the hill when I go back to get the rods out of the cab as Whippersnapper rolls her eyes. It’s blowy up here but there ain’t a lot us Crame’s bow down to and nor do the Hantches my dad married. Stubborn? Crazy? Adventurous or plain stupid? Yup. It’s doable, that’s what counts.
We’re going to fish feathers and tinsels, have a paddle and a thorough shake-down. This is the first time Eloise has fished two rods, first time she’s used RAM tubes, first time she’s been tied off independently, first time she’s used ragworm, first time she’s used a fixed spool…we have to get on the water. Down to the slip and I start stowing c-tugs while she plays about.
These in from Richi
I turn and there she is happily bobbing and giggling and waving fifty yards out in her drysuit. I swear we gave birth to a selkie! She soon washes in as flotsam and pulls her tetra out, chest deep and clambers aboard and then she’s off.
I play catch up again of course.
Hard work this, straight into the wind. Nope, I’m not towing her no matter how much I plead and so we drop anchor. She settles and I head towards the pier. I go back and give her a hand with something and we both head for the pier as she baits up.
Then I snag a buoy line and settle…then I head for the pier. I decide to clip off and there I sit, waiting for a bite. I’m downwind of her so run the line from my bow and face her in the distance, she’s happy enough.
Nothing happening on the fishing front. An hour and more pass before Lozz and Richi paddle up for a natter…Eloise is onlying on her side, curled up like a dogfish and Lozz wonders what is wrong. He’s highly amused when he realises she’s just on the phone to her sister! She’s in a similar position, albeit napping when Richi takes her picture and when I paddle up and tell her we’re heading in, fishless. She sets off and I paddle in past her, landing first in case she needs assistance. As if. She gets bored and, as it’s a bit bumpier here, she starts shifting round and ends up kneeling at the front of the footwells and paddling like a Canadian! Yes. Whatever. Eventually she lands and as I start rigging things to go back up the hill she disappears into the water again…
Back up the hill, laod up, over to Herston leisure and into the cabin. Out of the cabin and into the hot tub.
I tempt her out…Chinese in Swanage…
Filled up with sweet and sour king prawn, prawn crackers and lemonade we return to the campsite and mingle. I scrounge some beer and she is given drinks once again from some quarter (thanks to all of you by the way). Some shyness comes over at first and then, finally, she hooks up with Alise and Amy and is off being a little girl again, running around, disappearing, playing, taking her friends to the cabin and having as much fun as the rest of us are! But parental control is a must and I have to be firm; she has a competition to partake in and had a late night, we must go to bed. Two hours late of course, we’re on holiday and 10:30 is fine I reckon – the coke has kept her going anyway!
We discuss the best course of action. I have to be at the green at 6, so I’ll be up soon after 5. That’s too early for her and so – and this is a big thing – her alarm is set for 6:45 and she needs to get up and wash, dress herself in her padlding kit, fix some breakfast and be ready for Stuttering Dan (dancccccccooke to you and I) and Dee to bring her over at 730. She’d met them earlier of course, Dan had landed a wrasse and we’d sashimi’d it with a beer and a chat…blind taste best? Nah, it was okay, bit chewy but I’ll go for yellowfin, salmon, bass, mackerel or bream any day of the week (and my wife and I tried bream and ballan side by side on my return and bream came out tops then too).
And so to bed to listen to the rowdy crowd near us and sleep doesn't come for a long time, excitement plays a part too...
05:15 I wake up, get dressed, drink coffee and orange juice, take headache tablets and lock the door…a bit apprehensive, she’s only been left on her own briefly before but she appreciates her independence and I know she’s a good girl. I drive off and on arrival see that Andy has started bringing stuff down. I reverse up, fling open the doors and start to pull things out of the back. Andy appears, Amos too, Richi, some others, someone who brings coffee, more people, we get things out, up, on, together, shipshape, friends appear everywhere, old and new, some who’ve only been electronic before, 7:30 arrives and I start taking registrations – thanks for staggering your arrivals guys, it made things so much smoother. At first I’m doing the lot, grabbing goodies and shirts, passing the sign in forms, taking insurance money then Richi and Tinasarf jump in on either side and things start to flow and – phew – an hour and quarter later and we’ve signed in the bulk…we’re fifteen minutes ahead of schedule. We breathe and then it’s time for Andy to welcome the throng, me to run through the event, Darnsarf to run through the safety brief, me to run through the bits I forgot and to wish everyone well. We clarify the boundaries, amending slightly on suggestions from the crowd and then give the go ahead to rush off and get competing…
Eloise tries on first prize for size…
…the usual meandering saunter of kayak anglers follows as the chilled out bunch we are competes in a casual and friendly manner. I wander down with the camera to take photos and with Whippersnapper chomping at the bit our crew come back with twenty bacon rolls and a bunch of drinks.
Here’s young Jamie Lloyd, all the way from Wales, ready to rock as a representative of SWKA…no plans were afoot for him to compete until the day before when I got all persuasive – out on one of our demo Elite 4.1's in a demo buoyancy aid and with a newly purchased wetsuit – money well invested as he showed his mettle and was to be rewarded!
Eloise and Alise get together for a pic, joined by Jan who declares a sisterhood!
I saunter back, have a pee and look out from the pier – I’ve never seen so many yaks in one place. Apart from at work everyday! It’s a fantastic sight though the car park was amazing with the plethora of plastic on just about every roof!
Pugwash is somewhere with his camera and nearly an hour has gone; I’m drysuited and take Eloise out to get started. She rolls around playing before launch and then we’re off into another stiff breeze. She again refuses a tow but with time getting on I talk her round and we head for the Grand Hotel, I want to get her north of the pink cans…people are there though, in numbers so I stop short and we clip to a buoy. On the way we pass Dilligaf and Alise, already settled in…
I wasn’t going to fish with Eloise, I didn’t want any possible grumblings if she went and beat everyone ;D But come on, a day like this? We clipped off independently to the same buoay and sat there with a couple of rigs baited with rag, squid and herring on various hooks. Nothing, no bites and with half an hour gone it was time to move. Pugwash had joined us now but had just gone for a quick drift as we chilled…
...and then decided to try another spot. Time to reel in…
“ANDY!”
I had to repeat it a few times, age shall not weary him but that pony tail was covering his ears!
“ANDY! SHE’S IN!”
His Ultra 4.3 springs to life and he rushes up to her as she pulls in species one with a WOW! The most beautiful Ballan Wrasse comes aboard in all its stunning glory, putting a fine bend in the Fladen Ice Pike rod Chris sent down specially…that’s SWyaker to you and I and that reminds me, I have to give him a shout as he’s getting married right about now! Anyway, picture time…
I recall Strummer et al…should I stay or should I go…we’re on wrasse so we’ll get wrasse…lets stick with the plan…we paddle offshore. I look for buoys, quite a way, I’ll head for that white, unoccupied one…we paddle, over half a mile out now I guess. I spy an orange one.
“Eloise, white or orange?”
“You choose daddy”
“No, you choose”
“It’s okay daddy”
“Eloise, you’re competing, not me, which one?”
“White”
We go to the furthest one ;D We tie up, drop down and wait. Nothing. Ten minutes pass. Twenty. We both snag up and pulling Eolise’s rig out I break the trace. I tie another on for her and my rod wallops down! What the hell was that? Nothing comes up, back down goes the set of Fladen feathers baited with thin rings of squid and a few scraps of frozen black lug or rag. I carry on tying. Wallop! Wallop! I miss them. Eloise is getting concerned now, only one species, we’re not doing well. I tell her she is and there are fish here and then wallop as I am changing her rig…
“Get that bloody fish!” screams Andy
“I’m busy, it’s Whippersnapper that needs to catch, not me!”
I pass her the trace and my fish is still on. I’ve stolen her rod, a carbon Fladen Maxximus IM7 12lb class boat rod that just has the sexiest carbon weave that matches my Lendals, that has the best, machined aluminium reel seat I’ve ever seen, that I’ve decided is too long for her. When it arrived Iwas gobsmacked – my words went along the lines of “Christ, that’s a hundred quid rod!” I checked, it’s around thirty quid online…and with a bloody great bream on it’s priceless! I think I’d better get myself a quiver of them if anyone wants some 3-piece Shimano Forcemasters?
So there I am, with a new personal best, double the size of my previous biggest bream. Andy is gobsmacked too, that’s a special bream!
Then Eloise gets a hit on her Ice Pike…the leash keeps getting in the way of the reel handle and it drops off…those bloody leashes, I’ve recently got them, they’re falling apart already and we cut 3 hooks out of them the day before because they just attract them. They aren’t long enough, they don’t stretch enough and they’ve cost her a good fish. I feel bad. Anyway, I have to go and take pictures and think about getting in for early registrations…I unclip and Andy comes to take my place. I leave the Maxximus rod with Eloise and she chucks it down.
Wallop!
Yep, your turn to be outfished by a nine year old (she’s beaten me three times and drawn twice)
A specimen! 3lb of black bream is in her hands!!!
Her ice Pike is in the way of Andy so I’ve passed it to him, he drops it down and the wishbone picks up his first…
She can probably hold her drink better than Sea Angler’s finest kayak angler too!
She’s in again, she’s found the shoal…
It gets off and I depart to do some work…
“Mark, she’s got another!” Oh to have been able to stay. I paddle back, go and chat and take some photographs en-route…
…and there’s young Jamie again with his dad…I’ve been asking and it seems that with four species under his belt he might just take first place!
The radio blurts into life…
“Snapper, Snapper this is OK Control, OK Control”
“OK Control this is snapper, go ahead over”
I’m needed back on the beach, I’ve timed it well, I’m two minutes out. I land, grab a lift with the yak (Mike Arnopp I think?) and strip in seconds…we need my laptop to id a wrasse…it’s still in the cabin…Andy swears at me, deservedly to be fair, Richi runs me back to get it and force feeds me nicotine…ten minutes and we’re back…weigh in had begun…
An aside from Andy Benham:
Really nervous about looking after Snapper's sprog, responsible adult not really a role I'm comfortable with. Anyways, have agreed so too late to go back on my word, go a bit overboard on safety equipment, have three tow lines on board, massive first aid kit, two radios (in case one dies) and most of Thursday on the Marine Lake at Clevedon practicing assisted rescues of various flavours.
We'd planned it really well, Snapper had sent down a load of rigs, and I was to go out, catch some of Teignouth's finest mackerel, salt some leave some plain cut them all into chunks and then freeze the lot. Managed to catch them, then left it all to steam in the car park during the match, lovely smell. Also froze a load of peeled crab onto the hooks of the rigs, and left that behind too.
Snapper's covered the rest, but Eloise looked v cool with her logod up yak.
Set of with Mark and Eloise making their way across the bay, and met up with Sea Gypsy and his clutch, also en route for the far side of the bay.
Then it was over to the father and daughter team.
Was very relieved when Eloise's rod bent right over, and started praying the fish wouldn't come off.
She landed it like a pro
After loads of pics as Snapper has said we were off out into the bay.
As Snapper has already said, we found the bream
Felt really sorry for Mark having to go back, because boy were the bream in party mood. Had my first on Eloise's' borrowed rod, followed by quite few on my 6lb Kaskazi
Then thought I'd try a lure, and bingo, my first lure caught black bream, followed by my second and third.
All too soon, time to go back to the beach. Got the tow rope out, turned to Eloise and said OK, give my your bow and I'll put the rope on. Is it OK if I try and paddle some of the way myself? Of course, long story short, she paddled all the way home without any help from me. As soon as the yaks were back on the beach she was in the water in her dry suit, and I had to get her out to go and register her catch in case there were other junior on 2 species. She fished like a pro, was a pleasure to be with, thanks to both of you for letting me share a very special day.
Pugwash
So I sit there, head beneath a black fleece like some snapper from the turn of the century peering at fish to identify them from the larger screen; ballan, ballan, ballan, ballan, ballan, ballan, ballan…..there are others in fact but just about everyone has had Ballans. Those other species that obliged on the day were Undulate Ray and Smalleyed Ray, occasional Mackerel, the Black Bream that some of us found in numbers, Plaice, some Corkwing Wrasse amongst the ballans, Pollack, a Brill, one Tompot Blenny, a few Garfish, some Scorpion Fish, a Tub Gurnard, a Shanny, a few pleasing Dogfish, a couple of Bass, some small Starry Smoothhounds, a lovely Dragonet and a Goldsinny. The wrasse are the big problem, damn but they’re a pain! It’s the rays that really cause the trouble though – three years ago we gave away a second first prize Ultra 4.7 because we’d cocked up on the identification (hence the laptop now). Now of course Amos stands before me with four normal fish, two rays which may or may not be the same and a disallowed huge undulate which there is no picture of just a furious text from early on! Crap pictures mate, showing clearly why ray pics are a problem in this comp – they’re large fish and we need to see the whole thing. The trouble is of course that neither Darnsarf or I are that good on rays…I think he’s won with 6…
Step in Cam and Iain, both knowledgeable on Maghouse’s fancywomen, amongst others and it’s settled. They’re both in agreement, both rays are smalleyed. Amos is on five as well and, with 6 people on this winning figure, his sign in time drops him from a possible first place (on sixth) to fourth. Such is this evil twist in the tie-breaker; mental note to you all next year, LOG IN FIRST. The time difference between winning a Prowler Elite 4.1, a Tetra 12 Angler and a Yaksport were 14:32, 14:48 and 14:49 (the winner of the Ultra 4.3 was logged in at 13:49).
People keep coming, lining up and thrusting cameras at me. Finally it starts to slow and we’re down to the last few returnees…everything has gone to time and I get a drink before it’s time for us to stand at the front again. Whippersnapper is back and has been ripped from her drysuit. I’m busy working so she scams money from Ocean Kayak’s head man in the UK instead. She’s got the right genes that girl.
…I follow Andy thanking everyone, congratulating everyone and handing over FOURTEEN HUNDRED POUNDS to the Swanage Lifeboat station. Outstanding!
Then it’s time for Carolyn from Swanage Town Council to help me with the awarding of the prizes. Between her sore throat and my being on a roll I left her kind of by the wayside for which I apologise…congratulations, suspense, piss-taking and laughter all intertwined as I rolled through sixth, fifth, fourth, third, second and finally to first place. There should have been only the top three really, that was all that was advertised but on reaching our century, a grand for the RNLI, Andy released another boat…and so Patrick Banks, thinking he was out of the running perhaps, received a C-Tug trolley to not wheel away what he could have won…Steve Cowan, from Weymouth, was given the tools to upset the Olympics and so, if England take Gold in the sailing with a Pacific Action sail then you know our man has done his job! Amos came next and after describing his refusal and sheer terror to face nighttime pounding surf with me one winter a few years past I saddled him with his very own Yaksport. I’m evil at times!
Third place? A very late entry – faxed over and the last name on the typed registration forms - Ben Wallbridge became the proud and worthy owner of a spankingly yellow Tetra 12.
Now, a new name that’s become noticeable in a short time, and one behind a nice little blog, I was really pleased to give the camo Prowler Elite 4.1 to twenty year old Ryan Turner who was christening the Ultra 4.7 he’d reviewed on his blog…whatever will he do now?
…and then, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. First place, a magnificent flame Ultra 4.3, awarded it seems to the holder of the Oxwich 2011 crown too (Oxwich Bay, 21st July for those of you who want to compete this year)…a popular choice for a popular guy – Merryfisher, an apt name, Keith ward to the real world, was called to the front. Absolutely first class…with 5 species and landing after less than 4 hours on the water, the sixth person ashore, his gamble paid off. Should he have stayed? Gone for a clear lead on numbers? Would it have paid off? Who knows? It doesn’t matter – top fishing Keith!
And here they all are…
Of course this is the OK Classic and as eagerly anticipated are the classic abuse, insults, derogatory comments, pisstakes and genuinely kindhearted comments accompanying random prizes ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. Let it not be said I’m not warped! Sadly I misplaced the list of bizarre reasons to give stuff from the pile I’d looted from the warehouse, placing it in an envelope labelled prize list in the paperwork box, so had to come up with stuff on the spur of the moment…with help of course from the team.
The juniors all received a goodie bag for competing, very well-deserved they were too…well done Alise, Nadine, Eloise , Olly, Jamie and Alice and thank you parents!
With the boss hating people from that place near southsea it was only natural to give a two piece paddle to one fella in a Southampton football club shirt…two piece so he could batter both Maghouse and Gosling at the same time!
Mike Arnopp put us all to shame with his nurtured beer belly and won the 4XL Ocean Kayak T Shirt.
Dizzyfish was first to take to the water – a Daytripper paddle will slow him down in future.
Steve Cowan, sadly for him, did an impression of a mirror (when I had a goatee in the past) on registering and received a drybag for looking most like me. I guess he could put it over his head.
Two deserving ones , both Jamies:
Jamie Lloyd from Wales, the last definite entrant recruyited from the campsite, was top junior with 4 species and as such deserved something special. The trouble was I didn’t really have anything suitable…but a Carlisle Enchantment Carbon paddle, lightweight and at 215cm one to grow into, was probably the best of what was to hand – well done Jamie!
Jamie Thomas, at 17 just outside the junior age group and therefore not getting the goodie bag but valiantly holding his own in the top third amongst those allowed to vote walked away with a Plano waterproof tackle box and a dry bag.
Unlike Gosling – Brian Morris – who received something for his ridiculous Nemo hat as did Amos Mak for wearing a Viking Beardhead all weekend – the father Christmas Beardhead, chosen not for the festive time of year that may is but for the red and white colour scheme of Southampton. I was jealous of that one.
Dan, who capsized and lost loads of gear trying to paddle with Richi (how many times, DON’T!) whine about the loss of his tea towel most of all and so Andy replacxed it with an RNLI one…now Dan had received an advance spot prize for making me laugh when he snet his form in – special medical needs? Cider intravenously…a can of Strong bow was duly dispatched.
A junior that didn’t fish but took part from the campsite and the shore was next, Amy Ebborn, Si’s lovely daughter, received a hat, some gloves and a bottle to go with her OK Classic T-Shirt. She’ll be with us on the water next year.
Si’s mate did well too. He may have lost a rod and reel overboard but it won him a paddle leash and a Scotty triple mount rod holder…don’t do it again, there’s a good lad!
Karl Kilbride…his entry came through the door…the name was familiar…had we argued once online? Not uncommon, whether we have or not I can’t recall but it matters not anyhow; the important thing was where he was from. “Am I right in thinking you’re from Scouseland?” I asked as he came, quizzically, to the front, hhaving caught a very worthy four species after 18 months on dry land. “Yes” he said as I then presented him a set of C-Tug wheels as someone had probably nicked his…that got the biggest laugh of the day!
Rylands. Came down from Wales. Ill. Couldn’t fish. Came, and stayed all day. That was worthy of a prize…but I can’t remember what I gave him!
Maghouse, good old pet pompey boy. Whipping boy, good sport, and forgiven his trespasses he was already in line for a load of prizes before he even signed up for the comp, it’s tradition and he’d earnt them for the months of ribbing from Andy. So there was the Ocean kayak mug in the Southanmpton Football Club box for starts but as he now had the distinction of being the first entrant run down by a catamaran in the OK Classic we felt he deserved a new safety light, a buoyancy aid, some welding rod, a tube of patch n’ go and a drybag…guilt on Andy’s part perhaps? Deflection of suspicion perhaps?
Right. I am Whippersnapper’s dad. Gratuitously and with full knowledge of the spelling of nepotism I gave her a prize for no other reason than her being my daughter and, in my eye, deserving one. A drybag to keep the van dry and Andy from telling me off!
Stargaizer got one too, and a bait coolbag. Having travelled the furthest, all the way from Scotland, I figured something to keep the van from stinking was a safe bet!
John Large. First kayak fishing session ever. He blanked. Taking on 132 others on the sea on his first go? That’s woirth a paddle in anyone’s book. Good on you!
Bigegst Bream…thougt this would get Eloise a legitimate prize but no, Pugwash beat her and was feeling smug. Until Steve Hill rocked up with one over 4lb…earning a great tea and an Enchantment Glass two piece paddle. Good catch that!
As for Wayne Dunn, that was one seriously visible drysuit! Perhaps Maghouse should ahev worn it but then he’d have won the OK cap instead of you.
Cobra won one as well. His hat was even stupider than Gosling’s. With hindsight he should have qualified for a Beardhead too.
Now who was that little blonde girl who registered first of all the other juniors? The one who smiled all the time? The one who waited 11 months to send her the gloves I promised at last years prizegiving for having the tiniest hands there? The one whose dad had just gone and bought a bunch of gear for and who had proudly taken one of our Tetra 10 demo kayaks out? The little girl who cast so beautifully? I wasn’t having her disappointed at blanking, no way. She deserved a special prize and an escape junior buoyancy aid is now hers to wear, well done Alise Holt and well done Dilligaf for making her day happen!
And so that’s all that I can remember bar one. Kayak fishing. It’s fishing from a kayak. A kayak is self-propelled, right? Usually but not neccesarily. I’d heard that some had questioned whether they were allowed and we had ourselves pondered it the first year when we wrote the rules…this coming from other comps abroad. To be fair I’d had the question asked over the phone by motorised kayakers before registering too so it was clarification not moaning…like we could exclude someone for having a motorised kayak when we ourselves market the Torque! Nope, paddles, sails, motors, whatever, if it gets you out there then I’m all for it…but Martin Collison, you lazy bastard, use that paddle I gave you!!!
And that was that…time to break things down – and loads of willing hands with that – and head off to wind down. With Eloise hopping in with Alise and her parents to open up our cabin and have a hot tub party we set to work and within an hour or two the van was loaded and I was sent away with forty quid to get some beers for the campfire party…
]
“Alright Andy, would you mind babysitting my daughter on the water please?”
“Yeah of course I will. It would make a good feature too, would she be ok with that?”
“YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!”
“Dear Fladen, I was about to buy another Ice Pike rod for my daughter but I’m too tight, I was wondering…”
“YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH! But have better rods and a whole load of other stuff!”
“Dear Canoe Shops Group, daddy’s nicked the Fladen Maxximus IM7 boat rod I was sent because it’s bloody brilliant and therefore too long for me, have you got an Ice Pike spare please?”
“YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!”
“Dear H20 Kayaks, would you mind helping my daughter’s pocket money stretch a bit further on a pair of RAP119’s please?”
“YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!”
“Dear Mrs Headmistress, my daughter wants to go fishing which is better than school, will you please authorise the absence?”
“YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!”
That’s how everything got set in place for us to have the best weekend I can remember. Snapper and Whippersnapper were off to Swanage for the OK Classic, me working and Eloise trying to win! With hell and all tackle falling out of the boxes that arrived I set to work tying rigs, loading reels, attaching stickers, tournament rigging her kayak and preparing baits in advance…while she, in turn, practiced sticking hooks through pieces of slimy squid, herring, worm …
…and unhooking dead herring in various states of filleting over the sink between what on-water sessions we could manage between weather windows and work. Not quite fully up to speed but well on the way I figured that Eloise was in with as much chance as anyone else of walking away with first prize…now it was down to Neptune, Triton, Poseidon and a bit of luck but hey, we were going on holiday!
All the while this was going on I was working away in the warehouse or on the road, doing some other work some evenings as and when, a whole-weekend show and trying to fit in my normal life but still I found time to process the entrance forms and plan the competition, gee people up and get on the forums…time was getting short and the list was getting long. A few months back we were worried that we’d struggle on numbers with things how they are but no, from Cornwall, Wales, Scotland, the Northeast, East Anglia, London, Kent and the southcoast not to mention the Fens and Midlands people sent in their payments and got ready to come down for combined meet, fish and competition. So thank you, ALL of you. The numbers were creeping up...we wanted to give the RNLI a grand, we wanted to reach the ton… not so many days left and we hit it…Andy throws in another kayak as a thank you and STILL they keep coming…I call up the mates I know who are parents, we would love to see some other youngsters on the water, they have the exemption on the week-prior registration and then comes the bank holiday, delivery trips and so on…deadline is extended until the day I leave for Swanage and I depart, speak to the parents, take the details in and we have hit an Astonishing 140 entrants at a tenner apiece. FOURTEEN HUNDRED QUID FOR THE RNLI!!!
We’re stoked, but we’re questioning ourselves, can we deal with this number, getting on to double last year…right, a second safety boat is called on; John who used to run Crazywater is joining Paul’s lads from Studland Watersports. That’s easy. We’re going to have to rejig the way we process people in the morning too; ten clipboards and alphabetising the names should do it. Order more T-Shirts! Empty the shelves for prizes! Think of more random or stupid or plain insulting reasons to throw stock into the crowd! More coffee!
Hang about. Whippersnapper is nine and back at school Monday morning. I’m not going in any hotel, I want to be at the campsite…with two days to go Andy comes up with the answer and I book a cabin at Herston Leisure; I can still be with everyone but sleep will be possible this year and I have an excuse not to crawl around in my underpants in the nighttime and groan in the daytime. Sorted. Bait, mackerel? What? None swimming around the UK at present? Rigs go south to Teignmouth to have peeler attached, herring are sliced up, salted or as is, unwashed squid is sliced thin into rings, deheaded and frozen in all the juice, the last of my frozen blacks are set aside, maggots, must get maggots (forgot them) razor fish, they might be good (forgot them) ragworm, must get some from Dave at Swanage Tackle…let’s look at the chart and see where to send Whippersnapper…oh, hang on, I need to change these and get people away from the pier…remark them, re-copy them…ah, that reminds me, print those tournament cards off, designed with devilry in mind with a nice blue skate on them just for Maghouse…laminator is on, where are the a4 sleeves? Ok, I’ll do it a3…half go awry and the rest end up on the floor. The guillotine works overtime and it’s 1789 again.
Time to load the van, what’s missing from the demo boats? Wrappers off new stock, on they go, prize boats next, mine and Eloise’s on top ready for a practice run, boxes, papers, prizes, kit, cable ties and finally the gazebo…Andy, I’m off, Eloise leaves school in half an hour, see you tomorrow…
“Hi Daddy I’m SOOOO excited!”
“Here, eat cake”
Bastard. A47 A11 A14 A505 and FINALLY on the A1(M) we start to build up speed; Fleet Services are my favourite but we cut in and hit the KFC at South Mimms – second favourite services. We’ve got to get protein down our necks to absorb the sweets and oatmeal bars from Tesco.
Bladders emptied and refilled and the stereo is cranked up, Transvision Vamp blasts out as we dance the 3.5 tonne Merc down to a Premier Inn outside Southampton, laughing and changing words around…’I want you wra-asse, I want your ba-a-ass’ . We check in, it’s 930pm and she’s been up later than usual; TV for five minutes to see how cool hotels are…
… then we crash out and set the alarms for a full English, yoghurt and fruit and muesli and coffee and juice and croissants…
…and jump in the van again; quick detour to drop off a Scupper and then it’s a straight run down to Swanage. Man, this weather is PERFECT!
We head to the campsite first; the cabins a few hours from being available but people are around and we go say hi after chatting at reception and checking all is ok…Jamie is persuaded to partake in the comp with one of our kayaks, buoyancy aids and paddles they just need a wetsuit…then down into Swanage. Park the van…down the hill…go visit the tackle shop; they’re happy and looking forward to it. A steady stream of orders, questions, last minute purchases; we head to the Tourist Office next and then it’s off to enjoy cod and chips. The fish was nice, in an undersize kind of way, the chips underdone and the batter utter crap but hey, it’s all a part of it. Ice Cream? Yes please! Off we go to stamp on the green to make sure it’s firm – not that we can do anything if it isn’t – and then over to the RNLI station. Dave is there, a good chat, all looks good, he gives us some freebies to dole out to the entrants and Eloise buys another notepad and pen and starts her Swanage diary. Then we’re away back the campsite, unload all our gear into the cabin and get kitted up; fishing time.
We park again, check with the man in the high vis where we can go so as to not get booked and start taking the yaks and kit out. We trolley them halfway down the hill when I go back to get the rods out of the cab as Whippersnapper rolls her eyes. It’s blowy up here but there ain’t a lot us Crame’s bow down to and nor do the Hantches my dad married. Stubborn? Crazy? Adventurous or plain stupid? Yup. It’s doable, that’s what counts.
We’re going to fish feathers and tinsels, have a paddle and a thorough shake-down. This is the first time Eloise has fished two rods, first time she’s used RAM tubes, first time she’s been tied off independently, first time she’s used ragworm, first time she’s used a fixed spool…we have to get on the water. Down to the slip and I start stowing c-tugs while she plays about.
These in from Richi
I turn and there she is happily bobbing and giggling and waving fifty yards out in her drysuit. I swear we gave birth to a selkie! She soon washes in as flotsam and pulls her tetra out, chest deep and clambers aboard and then she’s off.
I play catch up again of course.
Hard work this, straight into the wind. Nope, I’m not towing her no matter how much I plead and so we drop anchor. She settles and I head towards the pier. I go back and give her a hand with something and we both head for the pier as she baits up.
Then I snag a buoy line and settle…then I head for the pier. I decide to clip off and there I sit, waiting for a bite. I’m downwind of her so run the line from my bow and face her in the distance, she’s happy enough.
Nothing happening on the fishing front. An hour and more pass before Lozz and Richi paddle up for a natter…Eloise is onlying on her side, curled up like a dogfish and Lozz wonders what is wrong. He’s highly amused when he realises she’s just on the phone to her sister! She’s in a similar position, albeit napping when Richi takes her picture and when I paddle up and tell her we’re heading in, fishless. She sets off and I paddle in past her, landing first in case she needs assistance. As if. She gets bored and, as it’s a bit bumpier here, she starts shifting round and ends up kneeling at the front of the footwells and paddling like a Canadian! Yes. Whatever. Eventually she lands and as I start rigging things to go back up the hill she disappears into the water again…
Back up the hill, laod up, over to Herston leisure and into the cabin. Out of the cabin and into the hot tub.
I tempt her out…Chinese in Swanage…
Filled up with sweet and sour king prawn, prawn crackers and lemonade we return to the campsite and mingle. I scrounge some beer and she is given drinks once again from some quarter (thanks to all of you by the way). Some shyness comes over at first and then, finally, she hooks up with Alise and Amy and is off being a little girl again, running around, disappearing, playing, taking her friends to the cabin and having as much fun as the rest of us are! But parental control is a must and I have to be firm; she has a competition to partake in and had a late night, we must go to bed. Two hours late of course, we’re on holiday and 10:30 is fine I reckon – the coke has kept her going anyway!
We discuss the best course of action. I have to be at the green at 6, so I’ll be up soon after 5. That’s too early for her and so – and this is a big thing – her alarm is set for 6:45 and she needs to get up and wash, dress herself in her padlding kit, fix some breakfast and be ready for Stuttering Dan (dancccccccooke to you and I) and Dee to bring her over at 730. She’d met them earlier of course, Dan had landed a wrasse and we’d sashimi’d it with a beer and a chat…blind taste best? Nah, it was okay, bit chewy but I’ll go for yellowfin, salmon, bass, mackerel or bream any day of the week (and my wife and I tried bream and ballan side by side on my return and bream came out tops then too).
And so to bed to listen to the rowdy crowd near us and sleep doesn't come for a long time, excitement plays a part too...
05:15 I wake up, get dressed, drink coffee and orange juice, take headache tablets and lock the door…a bit apprehensive, she’s only been left on her own briefly before but she appreciates her independence and I know she’s a good girl. I drive off and on arrival see that Andy has started bringing stuff down. I reverse up, fling open the doors and start to pull things out of the back. Andy appears, Amos too, Richi, some others, someone who brings coffee, more people, we get things out, up, on, together, shipshape, friends appear everywhere, old and new, some who’ve only been electronic before, 7:30 arrives and I start taking registrations – thanks for staggering your arrivals guys, it made things so much smoother. At first I’m doing the lot, grabbing goodies and shirts, passing the sign in forms, taking insurance money then Richi and Tinasarf jump in on either side and things start to flow and – phew – an hour and quarter later and we’ve signed in the bulk…we’re fifteen minutes ahead of schedule. We breathe and then it’s time for Andy to welcome the throng, me to run through the event, Darnsarf to run through the safety brief, me to run through the bits I forgot and to wish everyone well. We clarify the boundaries, amending slightly on suggestions from the crowd and then give the go ahead to rush off and get competing…
Eloise tries on first prize for size…
…the usual meandering saunter of kayak anglers follows as the chilled out bunch we are competes in a casual and friendly manner. I wander down with the camera to take photos and with Whippersnapper chomping at the bit our crew come back with twenty bacon rolls and a bunch of drinks.
Here’s young Jamie Lloyd, all the way from Wales, ready to rock as a representative of SWKA…no plans were afoot for him to compete until the day before when I got all persuasive – out on one of our demo Elite 4.1's in a demo buoyancy aid and with a newly purchased wetsuit – money well invested as he showed his mettle and was to be rewarded!
Eloise and Alise get together for a pic, joined by Jan who declares a sisterhood!
I saunter back, have a pee and look out from the pier – I’ve never seen so many yaks in one place. Apart from at work everyday! It’s a fantastic sight though the car park was amazing with the plethora of plastic on just about every roof!
Pugwash is somewhere with his camera and nearly an hour has gone; I’m drysuited and take Eloise out to get started. She rolls around playing before launch and then we’re off into another stiff breeze. She again refuses a tow but with time getting on I talk her round and we head for the Grand Hotel, I want to get her north of the pink cans…people are there though, in numbers so I stop short and we clip to a buoy. On the way we pass Dilligaf and Alise, already settled in…
I wasn’t going to fish with Eloise, I didn’t want any possible grumblings if she went and beat everyone ;D But come on, a day like this? We clipped off independently to the same buoay and sat there with a couple of rigs baited with rag, squid and herring on various hooks. Nothing, no bites and with half an hour gone it was time to move. Pugwash had joined us now but had just gone for a quick drift as we chilled…
...and then decided to try another spot. Time to reel in…
“ANDY!”
I had to repeat it a few times, age shall not weary him but that pony tail was covering his ears!
“ANDY! SHE’S IN!”
His Ultra 4.3 springs to life and he rushes up to her as she pulls in species one with a WOW! The most beautiful Ballan Wrasse comes aboard in all its stunning glory, putting a fine bend in the Fladen Ice Pike rod Chris sent down specially…that’s SWyaker to you and I and that reminds me, I have to give him a shout as he’s getting married right about now! Anyway, picture time…
I recall Strummer et al…should I stay or should I go…we’re on wrasse so we’ll get wrasse…lets stick with the plan…we paddle offshore. I look for buoys, quite a way, I’ll head for that white, unoccupied one…we paddle, over half a mile out now I guess. I spy an orange one.
“Eloise, white or orange?”
“You choose daddy”
“No, you choose”
“It’s okay daddy”
“Eloise, you’re competing, not me, which one?”
“White”
We go to the furthest one ;D We tie up, drop down and wait. Nothing. Ten minutes pass. Twenty. We both snag up and pulling Eolise’s rig out I break the trace. I tie another on for her and my rod wallops down! What the hell was that? Nothing comes up, back down goes the set of Fladen feathers baited with thin rings of squid and a few scraps of frozen black lug or rag. I carry on tying. Wallop! Wallop! I miss them. Eloise is getting concerned now, only one species, we’re not doing well. I tell her she is and there are fish here and then wallop as I am changing her rig…
“Get that bloody fish!” screams Andy
“I’m busy, it’s Whippersnapper that needs to catch, not me!”
I pass her the trace and my fish is still on. I’ve stolen her rod, a carbon Fladen Maxximus IM7 12lb class boat rod that just has the sexiest carbon weave that matches my Lendals, that has the best, machined aluminium reel seat I’ve ever seen, that I’ve decided is too long for her. When it arrived Iwas gobsmacked – my words went along the lines of “Christ, that’s a hundred quid rod!” I checked, it’s around thirty quid online…and with a bloody great bream on it’s priceless! I think I’d better get myself a quiver of them if anyone wants some 3-piece Shimano Forcemasters?
So there I am, with a new personal best, double the size of my previous biggest bream. Andy is gobsmacked too, that’s a special bream!
Then Eloise gets a hit on her Ice Pike…the leash keeps getting in the way of the reel handle and it drops off…those bloody leashes, I’ve recently got them, they’re falling apart already and we cut 3 hooks out of them the day before because they just attract them. They aren’t long enough, they don’t stretch enough and they’ve cost her a good fish. I feel bad. Anyway, I have to go and take pictures and think about getting in for early registrations…I unclip and Andy comes to take my place. I leave the Maxximus rod with Eloise and she chucks it down.
Wallop!
Yep, your turn to be outfished by a nine year old (she’s beaten me three times and drawn twice)
A specimen! 3lb of black bream is in her hands!!!
Her ice Pike is in the way of Andy so I’ve passed it to him, he drops it down and the wishbone picks up his first…
She can probably hold her drink better than Sea Angler’s finest kayak angler too!
She’s in again, she’s found the shoal…
It gets off and I depart to do some work…
“Mark, she’s got another!” Oh to have been able to stay. I paddle back, go and chat and take some photographs en-route…
…and there’s young Jamie again with his dad…I’ve been asking and it seems that with four species under his belt he might just take first place!
The radio blurts into life…
“Snapper, Snapper this is OK Control, OK Control”
“OK Control this is snapper, go ahead over”
I’m needed back on the beach, I’ve timed it well, I’m two minutes out. I land, grab a lift with the yak (Mike Arnopp I think?) and strip in seconds…we need my laptop to id a wrasse…it’s still in the cabin…Andy swears at me, deservedly to be fair, Richi runs me back to get it and force feeds me nicotine…ten minutes and we’re back…weigh in had begun…
An aside from Andy Benham:
Really nervous about looking after Snapper's sprog, responsible adult not really a role I'm comfortable with. Anyways, have agreed so too late to go back on my word, go a bit overboard on safety equipment, have three tow lines on board, massive first aid kit, two radios (in case one dies) and most of Thursday on the Marine Lake at Clevedon practicing assisted rescues of various flavours.
We'd planned it really well, Snapper had sent down a load of rigs, and I was to go out, catch some of Teignouth's finest mackerel, salt some leave some plain cut them all into chunks and then freeze the lot. Managed to catch them, then left it all to steam in the car park during the match, lovely smell. Also froze a load of peeled crab onto the hooks of the rigs, and left that behind too.
Snapper's covered the rest, but Eloise looked v cool with her logod up yak.
Set of with Mark and Eloise making their way across the bay, and met up with Sea Gypsy and his clutch, also en route for the far side of the bay.
Then it was over to the father and daughter team.
Was very relieved when Eloise's rod bent right over, and started praying the fish wouldn't come off.
She landed it like a pro
After loads of pics as Snapper has said we were off out into the bay.
As Snapper has already said, we found the bream
Felt really sorry for Mark having to go back, because boy were the bream in party mood. Had my first on Eloise's' borrowed rod, followed by quite few on my 6lb Kaskazi
Then thought I'd try a lure, and bingo, my first lure caught black bream, followed by my second and third.
All too soon, time to go back to the beach. Got the tow rope out, turned to Eloise and said OK, give my your bow and I'll put the rope on. Is it OK if I try and paddle some of the way myself? Of course, long story short, she paddled all the way home without any help from me. As soon as the yaks were back on the beach she was in the water in her dry suit, and I had to get her out to go and register her catch in case there were other junior on 2 species. She fished like a pro, was a pleasure to be with, thanks to both of you for letting me share a very special day.
Pugwash
So I sit there, head beneath a black fleece like some snapper from the turn of the century peering at fish to identify them from the larger screen; ballan, ballan, ballan, ballan, ballan, ballan, ballan…..there are others in fact but just about everyone has had Ballans. Those other species that obliged on the day were Undulate Ray and Smalleyed Ray, occasional Mackerel, the Black Bream that some of us found in numbers, Plaice, some Corkwing Wrasse amongst the ballans, Pollack, a Brill, one Tompot Blenny, a few Garfish, some Scorpion Fish, a Tub Gurnard, a Shanny, a few pleasing Dogfish, a couple of Bass, some small Starry Smoothhounds, a lovely Dragonet and a Goldsinny. The wrasse are the big problem, damn but they’re a pain! It’s the rays that really cause the trouble though – three years ago we gave away a second first prize Ultra 4.7 because we’d cocked up on the identification (hence the laptop now). Now of course Amos stands before me with four normal fish, two rays which may or may not be the same and a disallowed huge undulate which there is no picture of just a furious text from early on! Crap pictures mate, showing clearly why ray pics are a problem in this comp – they’re large fish and we need to see the whole thing. The trouble is of course that neither Darnsarf or I are that good on rays…I think he’s won with 6…
Step in Cam and Iain, both knowledgeable on Maghouse’s fancywomen, amongst others and it’s settled. They’re both in agreement, both rays are smalleyed. Amos is on five as well and, with 6 people on this winning figure, his sign in time drops him from a possible first place (on sixth) to fourth. Such is this evil twist in the tie-breaker; mental note to you all next year, LOG IN FIRST. The time difference between winning a Prowler Elite 4.1, a Tetra 12 Angler and a Yaksport were 14:32, 14:48 and 14:49 (the winner of the Ultra 4.3 was logged in at 13:49).
People keep coming, lining up and thrusting cameras at me. Finally it starts to slow and we’re down to the last few returnees…everything has gone to time and I get a drink before it’s time for us to stand at the front again. Whippersnapper is back and has been ripped from her drysuit. I’m busy working so she scams money from Ocean Kayak’s head man in the UK instead. She’s got the right genes that girl.
…I follow Andy thanking everyone, congratulating everyone and handing over FOURTEEN HUNDRED POUNDS to the Swanage Lifeboat station. Outstanding!
Then it’s time for Carolyn from Swanage Town Council to help me with the awarding of the prizes. Between her sore throat and my being on a roll I left her kind of by the wayside for which I apologise…congratulations, suspense, piss-taking and laughter all intertwined as I rolled through sixth, fifth, fourth, third, second and finally to first place. There should have been only the top three really, that was all that was advertised but on reaching our century, a grand for the RNLI, Andy released another boat…and so Patrick Banks, thinking he was out of the running perhaps, received a C-Tug trolley to not wheel away what he could have won…Steve Cowan, from Weymouth, was given the tools to upset the Olympics and so, if England take Gold in the sailing with a Pacific Action sail then you know our man has done his job! Amos came next and after describing his refusal and sheer terror to face nighttime pounding surf with me one winter a few years past I saddled him with his very own Yaksport. I’m evil at times!
Third place? A very late entry – faxed over and the last name on the typed registration forms - Ben Wallbridge became the proud and worthy owner of a spankingly yellow Tetra 12.
Now, a new name that’s become noticeable in a short time, and one behind a nice little blog, I was really pleased to give the camo Prowler Elite 4.1 to twenty year old Ryan Turner who was christening the Ultra 4.7 he’d reviewed on his blog…whatever will he do now?
…and then, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. First place, a magnificent flame Ultra 4.3, awarded it seems to the holder of the Oxwich 2011 crown too (Oxwich Bay, 21st July for those of you who want to compete this year)…a popular choice for a popular guy – Merryfisher, an apt name, Keith ward to the real world, was called to the front. Absolutely first class…with 5 species and landing after less than 4 hours on the water, the sixth person ashore, his gamble paid off. Should he have stayed? Gone for a clear lead on numbers? Would it have paid off? Who knows? It doesn’t matter – top fishing Keith!
And here they all are…
Of course this is the OK Classic and as eagerly anticipated are the classic abuse, insults, derogatory comments, pisstakes and genuinely kindhearted comments accompanying random prizes ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. Let it not be said I’m not warped! Sadly I misplaced the list of bizarre reasons to give stuff from the pile I’d looted from the warehouse, placing it in an envelope labelled prize list in the paperwork box, so had to come up with stuff on the spur of the moment…with help of course from the team.
The juniors all received a goodie bag for competing, very well-deserved they were too…well done Alise, Nadine, Eloise , Olly, Jamie and Alice and thank you parents!
With the boss hating people from that place near southsea it was only natural to give a two piece paddle to one fella in a Southampton football club shirt…two piece so he could batter both Maghouse and Gosling at the same time!
Mike Arnopp put us all to shame with his nurtured beer belly and won the 4XL Ocean Kayak T Shirt.
Dizzyfish was first to take to the water – a Daytripper paddle will slow him down in future.
Steve Cowan, sadly for him, did an impression of a mirror (when I had a goatee in the past) on registering and received a drybag for looking most like me. I guess he could put it over his head.
Two deserving ones , both Jamies:
Jamie Lloyd from Wales, the last definite entrant recruyited from the campsite, was top junior with 4 species and as such deserved something special. The trouble was I didn’t really have anything suitable…but a Carlisle Enchantment Carbon paddle, lightweight and at 215cm one to grow into, was probably the best of what was to hand – well done Jamie!
Jamie Thomas, at 17 just outside the junior age group and therefore not getting the goodie bag but valiantly holding his own in the top third amongst those allowed to vote walked away with a Plano waterproof tackle box and a dry bag.
Unlike Gosling – Brian Morris – who received something for his ridiculous Nemo hat as did Amos Mak for wearing a Viking Beardhead all weekend – the father Christmas Beardhead, chosen not for the festive time of year that may is but for the red and white colour scheme of Southampton. I was jealous of that one.
Dan, who capsized and lost loads of gear trying to paddle with Richi (how many times, DON’T!) whine about the loss of his tea towel most of all and so Andy replacxed it with an RNLI one…now Dan had received an advance spot prize for making me laugh when he snet his form in – special medical needs? Cider intravenously…a can of Strong bow was duly dispatched.
A junior that didn’t fish but took part from the campsite and the shore was next, Amy Ebborn, Si’s lovely daughter, received a hat, some gloves and a bottle to go with her OK Classic T-Shirt. She’ll be with us on the water next year.
Si’s mate did well too. He may have lost a rod and reel overboard but it won him a paddle leash and a Scotty triple mount rod holder…don’t do it again, there’s a good lad!
Karl Kilbride…his entry came through the door…the name was familiar…had we argued once online? Not uncommon, whether we have or not I can’t recall but it matters not anyhow; the important thing was where he was from. “Am I right in thinking you’re from Scouseland?” I asked as he came, quizzically, to the front, hhaving caught a very worthy four species after 18 months on dry land. “Yes” he said as I then presented him a set of C-Tug wheels as someone had probably nicked his…that got the biggest laugh of the day!
Rylands. Came down from Wales. Ill. Couldn’t fish. Came, and stayed all day. That was worthy of a prize…but I can’t remember what I gave him!
Maghouse, good old pet pompey boy. Whipping boy, good sport, and forgiven his trespasses he was already in line for a load of prizes before he even signed up for the comp, it’s tradition and he’d earnt them for the months of ribbing from Andy. So there was the Ocean kayak mug in the Southanmpton Football Club box for starts but as he now had the distinction of being the first entrant run down by a catamaran in the OK Classic we felt he deserved a new safety light, a buoyancy aid, some welding rod, a tube of patch n’ go and a drybag…guilt on Andy’s part perhaps? Deflection of suspicion perhaps?
Right. I am Whippersnapper’s dad. Gratuitously and with full knowledge of the spelling of nepotism I gave her a prize for no other reason than her being my daughter and, in my eye, deserving one. A drybag to keep the van dry and Andy from telling me off!
Stargaizer got one too, and a bait coolbag. Having travelled the furthest, all the way from Scotland, I figured something to keep the van from stinking was a safe bet!
John Large. First kayak fishing session ever. He blanked. Taking on 132 others on the sea on his first go? That’s woirth a paddle in anyone’s book. Good on you!
Bigegst Bream…thougt this would get Eloise a legitimate prize but no, Pugwash beat her and was feeling smug. Until Steve Hill rocked up with one over 4lb…earning a great tea and an Enchantment Glass two piece paddle. Good catch that!
As for Wayne Dunn, that was one seriously visible drysuit! Perhaps Maghouse should ahev worn it but then he’d have won the OK cap instead of you.
Cobra won one as well. His hat was even stupider than Gosling’s. With hindsight he should have qualified for a Beardhead too.
Now who was that little blonde girl who registered first of all the other juniors? The one who smiled all the time? The one who waited 11 months to send her the gloves I promised at last years prizegiving for having the tiniest hands there? The one whose dad had just gone and bought a bunch of gear for and who had proudly taken one of our Tetra 10 demo kayaks out? The little girl who cast so beautifully? I wasn’t having her disappointed at blanking, no way. She deserved a special prize and an escape junior buoyancy aid is now hers to wear, well done Alise Holt and well done Dilligaf for making her day happen!
And so that’s all that I can remember bar one. Kayak fishing. It’s fishing from a kayak. A kayak is self-propelled, right? Usually but not neccesarily. I’d heard that some had questioned whether they were allowed and we had ourselves pondered it the first year when we wrote the rules…this coming from other comps abroad. To be fair I’d had the question asked over the phone by motorised kayakers before registering too so it was clarification not moaning…like we could exclude someone for having a motorised kayak when we ourselves market the Torque! Nope, paddles, sails, motors, whatever, if it gets you out there then I’m all for it…but Martin Collison, you lazy bastard, use that paddle I gave you!!!
And that was that…time to break things down – and loads of willing hands with that – and head off to wind down. With Eloise hopping in with Alise and her parents to open up our cabin and have a hot tub party we set to work and within an hour or two the van was loaded and I was sent away with forty quid to get some beers for the campfire party…
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